Powder

Notes by Delfin Demiray

After reading Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Oliver and I both found its themes of leaving, beginning, and continuing a life away from what is familiar deeply resonating. These songs grew from our shared response to the book and our own interpretations of its world. 

The first song sets a poem by Oliver, drawing on the intimate, fragmented quality of the conversations between the narrator and his mother. The second uses one of my own experimental poems, reflecting on the book’s explorations of adolescence, drug abuse, and vulnerability. 

In I. Spiraling into restlessness, the musical form gradually emerges through the revelation of words. Images such as the spiral, and the clock become structural elements, shaping the music, while leaving space for the singer to create a melodic arch throughout the piece. The harmonic language takes a folk-inspired approach, drawing particularly from Turkic harmonic traditions. 

In II. i have powdered, the music descends into a more distorted and unstable world. The instruments become suspended in a state of delusion and childishness, reflecting the book’s treatment of drug abuse and adolescence. The song develops through gestures rather than a fixed musical narrative, gradually revealing the unfiltered narration through the clicks and percussive sounds of the prepared piano and the unsettling, almost frightening sounds of the oboe.

Notes by Oliver Talukder

My conception for Powder began in fall 2023 as I thought about repertoire for my graduation recital at the Curtis Institute of Music. Having recently read Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, I felt that its poetic prose yearned to be set to music. The idea of commissioning a new work inspired by the novel felt the perfect way to bookend my time at Curtis. That same year, I met Delfin Demiray, a promising young composer from Türkiye who had just begun her studies at Curtis. Her interdisciplinary interests in literature, philosophy, and photography intrigued me. From our earliest conversations, I sensed that Delfin was the perfect collaborator for this project. Although our original plans had to be postponed, winning Cedille Records’ 2025 Emerging Artist Competition provided us with a new opportunity to bring the piece to life.

Powder is the “alter ego” of my debut album, Briefly Gorgeous. While Briefly Gorgeous explores the playful, adventurous, and extroverted sides of love, home, and identity, Powder turns inward, descending into darkness, despair, grief, and anger. Working on this piece with Delfin gave me the space to confront and contextualize experiences that have shaped me as a child of immigrants: fears of never being enough, the complicated guilt of diasporic privilege, and the painful process of healing generational trauma.

Hearing the final recording for the first time, after overlaying Sophia’s and my vocals, was a chilling experience. There is something deeply haunting about these songs. They reach into parts of the soul that are often easier left unexplored. Delfin creates a soundscape that gradually draws you in, almost as an addiction might: seductive, disorienting, and increasingly difficult to escape.

I invite you to experience Powder with an open ear and an open heart. As you listen, notice what is affected, unsettled, or activated within yourself. Maybe this piece will bring light to something you have carried with you, or perhaps leave you with a feeling you cannot quite name. I hope you allow yourself to enter its world and discover what it reveals to you.

Song texts

I. Spiraling into restlessness

text by Oliver Talukder

Spiraling into restlesness
while the clock
clicks further into the dawn

Worried for mama and her health,
feeling guilty I can’t help her no more

Depressed, sick, losing her memory
She can’t catch a break,
while I explore more of her home country

Wanting her to be able to enjoy
her life, she’s worked so hard for

But she’s stuck in her loop
work, sleep, work, sleep, work

All to provide for me

What do I do to help her
before its too late?

II. i have powdered

text by Delfin Demiray

i have powdered

/ rebounded

i have found

my way around becoming nothing else

but [i]

as if i were only there

to replace the /i/

of others